Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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