New low: just hacked my moms facebook
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
If I die, sorry about rent.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
