So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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