Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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