It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
