i barfeds in our rink
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
