Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Randomize
