well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
