Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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