There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Randomize
