talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize