the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Randomize
