Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
