thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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