Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
