my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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