If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
