I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
So squirting runs in the family.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
