i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
