Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
