It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Randomize