I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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