I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
