Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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