Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Found your dick twin last night
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Someone came in the potted fern
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
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