Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
