woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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