They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
vagina is talking i cant
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Randomize
