he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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