Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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