My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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