I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I'm passing your future prison.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
