is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
