Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize
