i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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