508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Randomize
