I must be too annoying 4 u.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
The air taste purple.
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