I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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