omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
false alarm, still single
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