I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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