Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
