I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize
