I cockslap morals
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
