what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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