Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
