i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
