We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
