we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
