He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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