You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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