come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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