We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
