Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
