Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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