I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
