the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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