I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
