I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
a search helicopter?!
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
