I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize