I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
