so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
